Anything on my mind????  That's hard for a gemini - ours minds are constantly racing jumping from one topic to another.  My blogs (maybe not here as such) might represent that.  So what I am thinking about now???   it is hot in Maine, yes Maine can be hot.  It is like 90 or so here. NOw granted to some states 90 isn't hot, but it is hot and muggy and rarely do I think it is hot here.   It feels good.  I might actually take it to the next level and go sit outside with sunscreen of course.  

So on the agenda today....a day of freedom, nothing to do, maybe to do all the schoolwork I want to do.   I am still making the list for each kid and including reprints I made.   I had each student write one nice thing about their classmates and it had to be specific.  Now she is a good runner is okay, but she is a nice girl is not.    What I am doing with the slips of paper is writing them all out on a neat sheet of paper with their name.  The comments are anonymous.  I also include one from me too.   So I will mail those to each of my kids.  Alas, they are not 'my" kids anymore.  I have a new batch waiting for me.   That's scary.  It is scary to start over, to attempt another year.  I just have to know, it won't be as bad as this one was.   And to be happy I am on a 2 month vacation more or less.

So afterschool work, my mom and I are going to this psychic type thing.  She had a reading done by a lady from this spiritualist church about a year ago.  My mom, who is also psychic but will not tell me anything about me, said she was right on the money.   I think I just need some direction and use it as such.   Like I would love for my grandma I never met to deliver some sort of message to me.  I am told I am a spitting image of her adn  she was a teacher/over acheiver, so part of me wants some sort of connection with her.  Besides the mental illness thing.  It is kinda of a mystery about her death as my dad won't talk about it and she died when he was young.    So basically just need some direction, like why can't this AZ thing ever work out?  I am always pulled to CT though I want to move.   I also question my love life, or lack there of.  Like the first guy to rock my world in almost 2 years, he is so not right for me.  I have to remind myself of that, and not GO THERE.   That's hard as it's been a really really really long time since I dated anyone.  I do though have the feelers out to everyone, telling them if they know a nice guy to send him my way.  That's a major accomplishment for someone who has been so closed off for so long.    So tonight I hope for direction as I said.  I am a little nervous about fact they might read me and my mom together.  Like there is some stuff I wouldn't want her to know about.   Just have faith.

After that, we are going to go out to this little old pond (lack of light pollution there) to try and see the Milky Way.  That will be cool.  When I lived in China, one night we went to this deserted beach.   Since all the others were getting drunk, I pulled myself away for a bit and just went to other end of beach.  There, I gazed up at the stars.  I have never seen such a beautiful sky as that night.  THe Milky Way was so so so clear, stretched across the sky.  It was amazing.   I will always cherish that special moment.  So I am slightly excited to see it tonight....God it feels like such a hinky dink thing to do.

And finally, I will drag my little bro out again.  I have Operation Girlfriend going on for him, or least Operation Get a Kiss.  My bro is so much shyer than me, he's 23 and never been kissed...WOW!   So i help him be more relaxed, like got him cool clothes, good cologne, a grown-up watch, etc.   I teach him the ins and outs of getting a drink, dealign with bartender, how to dance, etc.    We went out to a local brewery last week adn I think sometime just the act of going out, even if he meets no one, is good.  He spends entirely too much time here and I keep telling him he will meet no one, if he stays at home.    So tonight should be another interesting night.  I did try to convince him to bring out some of his few friends so I don't look like his girlfriend.  I told him most girls won't talk to him with just me being there.    And he doesn't drink or anything either so doesn't have that to take the edge off.  He's not an alkie like me at all just doesn't want it (which maybe is partially because of me?).   

So enough out of me.  Adios

okay now i have looked around a little

1. I realize I am not sharing iwth world.  I am sharing with little itty bitty part of world, specially around AZ area.  =)   Which is okay casue dammit I will be living out there one day - goal for past 18 years.

2.  I think this site makes itself more complicated than it needs to be.   The premise is great in realization of your creativity.  The books and chapters stuff, that's scary.  My brain doesn't like complication.  So if I avoid those things, not cause I can't do them, i just prefer good old fashion blogging.  Perhaps in time I will venture into them.  I do hope not to be one of those scarce people on here.  

So that's it.  I have the japanese Ring version to watch with my little bro so I bid you adieu, my whole non-existent reader base....hehehe