heh all right. welcome to the blog world! i'm starting out in a pretty depressed mood, i must say. i don't want to continue with the xanga because it's too personally identifiable. but even here, there are people who know pana from SL... why am i so afraid of people getting to know me? sis thinks that's a good question to answer.... and i suppose that sometime, yes, i must answer it, if i am to live life to the fullest. maybe it's because i'm not happy with myself, and want to change, and after i change, for no one to know the foolish person i was.

i realized yesterday, it's always ok to leave a social interaction after 10 minutees of polite chatting.. i shouldn't feel awkward about excusing myself and leaving. because it makes others uncomfortable too, to watch me stand there and wait for a conversation to finish, knowing i have to go... and it's not rude at all to smile, excuse myself, thank them for the occasion, and depart alone. don't ask if others want to join you, esp. if they are the last one there.

i skipped all three of my classes today.. so tired, and ashamed i didn't do any of the homework. but am i really too busy? or just lazy? i'm very easily distracted at home and have trouble working.. and sis renewed her WoW subscription. i would like to play too, but i know how addicting it is... but is it a waste of time? it really does make me happy... but is it like a drug? aiya...

i find that, i really don't put aside time for my hobbies, the things i really want to do.. like paint. why is that? instead i waste time with crap that never had to be done in the first place.. like computer and internet surfing and whatnot. realy, just forget it. list of things to do today:

1. stat assingment 7    (need SPSS, dloading now.) A 40 min. -->45 min. *2 = 1.5 hr
2. stat assignment 8 1 hr. *2 = 2 hr
3. BC SA's 2 hr. *2 = 4 hr
4. organize spending 20 min. -->30 min. *2 = 1 hr
5. stat research topic 2.5 hr *2 = 5 hr
6. watch 8 mile and better luck tomorrow 4 hr