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	Created by:panaceah Date created:2006-11-10 08:02:04 Replies:0 Description Chivalry is dead.It languished slowly on some maiden's doorstep long ago, when the last remaining gallant knight tripped on a loose stone and broke his nose, and his ensuing deformation making him wholly unmarriageable, and henceforth departed to join the ranks of celibate monks at the local Abbey.There perished the hope of reviving, or at the least maintaining, any last shred of that rare combination of devoted gentility and ruthless courage that constitute chivalry--that oh-so-tender masculine attention which may have only existed in fantasy, yet is a lovely one all the same.Why am I so bitter? I just read, cover-to-cover, "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Not too big of a book--about 160 pages, large font--and certainly easy to read. In fact, it's downright compelling. Not because I'm in an unsatisfying relationship right now in particular, but I was really suprised by how I've been getting screwed over by guys and wasting my time when completely unaware of it.Basically, the premise of the book is, "Women, stop making excuses for men. You are better off without a man who may tell you he cares but shows you by his actions he doesn't (not calling, not asking you out, not wanting sex, breaking up with you), and the only reason he doesn't tell you the truth of his non-feelings for you is that he is coward and doesn't want you to yell at him or cry. Not to mention he's probably benefitting some by having you around." And I find that whoa, it makes so much sense. "The Boys" are turning into "The Girls"!! And here's the woman's dilemma--where are the Good Men? The ones who are not taken yet, not here to play, and actually have the self-understanding to know and act on their feelings for a woman? But really.. have women gotten themselves in this situation by giving in too easily...by letting the guy know too early on that they like him, so he devalues her, or at the very least, before he even knows how he feels about her... and then he feels obligated to "date" her just because of her feelings. I don't know. But I wonder if it was somewhat easier on the women when they were expected to not favor any man until he made clear moves of commitment to woo her.Yeah sometimes my guyfriends complain about girls asking guys out, they think it's ok and makes things much easier and whatnot.. they are complacent and lazy i suppose--i agree with the philosophy of this book, that the guy should do the asking. Really, who wants a guy who is too scared to ask a girl out--and if he likes her enough, he will do it. Just watching the guppies swim around my sister's fishtank when we were little--the males are the brightly-plumed ones, with iridescent fins and fanned tails, and always, always chasing the somewhat distended belly of an egg-heavy female--though the latter was plain--two or three would follow her around constantly. Watch any pair of pidgeons in the park and it is the same--the mating dance. Even with less fecund animals, I would venture to say that the male often initiates some sort of courtship. Penguins! Bees! Lions! Oh my! It's a function of who wants it more, really.In the animal world though, the female is happy to just take care of her daily needs--namely, scrounging for food. If the male can bring her some food, that's even better. But here, in today's society... human females often try to go about their business during the day (and that business is much more complex than mere food-scrounging--it is thwarting the biological instincts for food and sleep in the effort to get in enough Work and Play, but also one must mind Skin and Makeup and Physique and Unwanted Stray Hairs, while also cultivating the Proper Domestic Skills and Social Skills so necessary for maintaining a good household later on, yet ostensibly work to prepare for a Life of Singledom because one must Never Be Thought of as Too Dependent....) but are secretly pining for a mate. They may stay up late reading self-help books in their frustrated efforts to discover why a sufficient one has not yet materialized. Why is this? Why am I bitter... I should really be more patient, and less insecure.I wonder though, if this is a product of later marriages and the current social trajectory of middle-class raised children entering college really as a means to some graduate or professional school, with women at least overtly pursuing a career and a means of supporting themselves. In the social spheres I've been in, it's not socially acceptable to deem "housewife" your future career. Yet, aren't there women who feel their calling is to be mothers? But--ironically it is the early mothers who usually most need the extra income stream to support their family--only either the insanely rich or the very well-educated or crazily well-married can afford to be a homemaker mother nowadays. I say well-educated because presumably, a well-educated woman is much more likely to meet and marry a well-educated man who could earn enough to support the family by himself. But at that point, who would really want to just live on one income, when the opportunity cost is so great? That woman could be making another 150,000 a year, if they'd both graduated from med school... really that's a nice lump sum of income. But if her dream was just to have and raise a child and care for a family, and to find a man who could support that dream--why did she have to go to med school in the first place. That's 7 years... women have a limited biological clock.... no wonder some feel the anxiety. No wonder the career woman who coauthored the book, Liz tuccillo, has such sadness and realism in her words on "what's hard about this one" at the end of each chapter on unworthy guys--she has spent much of her youth in these fruitless, presumably anxiety-ridden relationships, trying to find Mr. Right or at least Mr. I-Can-Marry.... only to still be dating in the City at age 41. She is past the age of safe childbearing... not that we can assume that was something she wanted anyway... but it is no longer an option. And that is sad to me... because i would like to think, it's not her fault. It's not her fault the right guy never appeared... ((and I am not a fan of the single-mother IVF phenomenon and picking a sperm donor to make your own precious baby--i really believe children develop best in the context of a stable, loving relationship between their parents. This is not to say that they cannot develop well in other environments, but why start with a non-ideal single-parent environment from the start, deliberately, "just because you want a baby so badly?" ))-- Is it a product of society, of deep, intangible currents of history, of men's views on women, dating, and marriage changing, or women themselves changing, or maybe not change at all but the constant struggle between the sexes... birthrates are dangerously low in many developed countries, are they not? Is something going on here... that is frustrating our biological natures?Feel free to comment.Oh yeah.. i started with the chivalry comment above because an interesting thing happened to me today as i was exiting the metro--as i went through the rotating bar-doors, the man in front of me was going rather slowly, and people behind me were rushing out--the door swung quickly and just brushed his arm. A somewhat unkempt stress-lined face set off by half a head of dark hair whirled around and snarled, "Take it easy! You almost took my arm off!" Perhaps he was a bit suprised to find himself addressing a petite asian female about two heads shorter than him, carrying textbooks and staring calmly at someone who clearly needed a quick trip to Oz for a temper replacement. I told him in a clear voice. "I wasn't pushing it that hard. But I'm sorry you felt--scared." I said the last bit with just a um, hint of sarcasm. He cast a dark look at the ground ahead of him and walked on, at his slow, fuming pace.Yeah so maybe chivalry isn't dead.. but I think the B*tch in me is waking up.
	Created by:panaceah Date created:2006-11-09 02:32:08 Replies:0 Description heh all right. welcome to the blog world! i'm starting out in a pretty depressed mood, i must say. i don't want to continue with the xanga because it's too personally identifiable. but even here, there are people who know pana from SL... why am i so afraid of people getting to know me? sis thinks that's a good question to answer.... and i suppose that sometime, yes, i must answer it, if i am to live life to the fullest. maybe it's because i'm not happy with myself, and want to change, and after i change, for no one to know the foolish person i was. i realized yesterday, it's always ok to leave a social interaction after 10 minutees of polite chatting.. i shouldn't feel awkward about excusing myself and leaving. because it makes others uncomfortable too, to watch me stand there and wait for a conversation to finish, knowing i have to go... and it's not rude at all to smile, excuse myself, thank them for the occasion, and depart alone. don't ask if others want to join you, esp. if they are the last one there. i skipped all three of my classes today.. so tired, and ashamed i didn't do any of the homework. but am i really too busy? or just lazy? i'm very easily distracted at home and have trouble working.. and sis renewed her WoW subscription. i would like to play too, but i know how addicting it is... but is it a waste of time? it really does make me happy... but is it like a drug? aiya...i find that, i really don't put aside time for my hobbies, the things i really want to do.. like paint. why is that? instead i waste time with crap that never had to be done in the first place.. like computer and internet surfing and whatnot. realy, just forget it. list of things to do today:1. stat assingment 7 (need SPSS, dloading now.) A 40 min. -->45 min. 2 = 1.5 hr2. stat assignment 8 1 hr. 2 = 2 hr3. BC SA's 2 hr. 2 = 4 hr4. organize spending 20 min. -->30 min. 2 = 1 hr5. stat research topic 2.5 hr *2 = 5 hr6. watch 8 mile and better luck tomorrow 4 hr
	Created by:Brian Date created:2006-05-15 23:00:24 Replies:0 Description It seems that public schools focus on teaching the subject matter material, but fail to teach why it’s important to learn the material. How about spending more time teaching WHY it is important to learn the information in those required subjects. If students understand why, they will learn faster and easier, and will retain information longer. Students need to be shown and taught the benefits of learning each subject! There are so many benefits to learning-- I just don’t think most people realize that until after high school, if ever. Prior to college, besides my favorite subjects, I remember learning only because I needed to get good grades, not because I thought the material was interesting or useful or would benefit my future. I know why it’s useful now; I just had to figure it out for myself. Parents should teach their kids why it’s important to learn, but so should the public school system. Based on rigorous research, the public school system should put together a program that teaches students why learning curriculum (that the schools system chose) is important. Facts and numbers should be shown and this info should be drilled into students over and over again so that by 6th grade every student can articulate to an adult the reasons why math, science, history, social science, etc, are important to learn… and how learning those subjects will benefit their future. If I were to test this hypothesis, I’d track 100 random 1st graders and use a well thought out program to teach to 50 of them. I would track their grades over the next 10 years. My prediction is that on average, the students who are in the program would get at least a half grade better in all subjects, if not a full grade. As kids, we always did better in the subjects we enjoyed. Teaching the benefits won’t necessarily ensure that a student will enjoy all classes as though they were all their favorite classes, but it will definitely be better than if they didn’t know any benefits of learning the material. In other words it could only help. I know that without having to do any research. What do you think?
	Created by:Brian Date created:2006-04-25 06:45:27 Replies:0 Description Some words worth differentiating: Heritage Practices that are handed down from the past by tradition Ethnicity An ethnic quality or affiliation resulting from racial or cultural ties Nationality The status of belonging to a particular nation by birth or naturalization

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