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Last modified:2007-04-16 03:21:51
Posted:2007-04-16 03:21:51
so, i did a little experiment today. the goal was to do as little work
as possible just to see how it is for the fuck fucks who show up to the
office but don't do a lick of work all day. i think i pulled off doing
about 25% of what i normally do in a day. you would have sworn i killed
babies & ate their heads. i wanted to know though. i wanted to know
what it would be like to show up to work & not be the work horse
that people expect. and i could allow myself to do it because i could
give a rat's ass about looking impressive. i just wanted to be a
different version of me.
the decision to try this experiment was
born out of two things: anger over things i have no control over &
the fact that i've been thinking about how routine & regimented
monday thru friday is after reading something a friend of mine wrote.
so i thought, why not mix it up a little. screw the rules. i always
follow the rules & it gets me zilch. so, today i did a lot of
daydreaming (which i'm actually horrible at doing), just staring at my
computer screen & studying the dank, disgusting ceiling of the big
room. i listened to my music, even sang along at times.
i
would like to say it was a great or liberating experience but in all
honesty, it was actually hard to maintain...the lazy attitude...sitting
there with the work staring me in the face & just letting it sit
there. how do people do it? maybe i need another day to hone the skill.
maybe i need a repeat tomorrow.
i'm considering going to the
meeting tonight...learn about Jesus. if i could just go in, hear the
sermon & get out without anyone really talking to me, the decision
would be made...i'd just do it. but i'm not looking to set up bible
studies or have anyone call on me at my home. i just want to go learn
about Jesus. i ironed a skirt & a top. i need to shower because i
smell sweaty after exercising. i've got about 45 minutes to get ready
& leave if i'm going to do it.
i HATE april & may. they are invariably horrible months for me, for my stability. it's going to be a long 8 weeks.
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