At
what point does my obligation to my fellow (wo)man end? How far should
I go to help someone? At what point should self preservation become a
concern? What am I supposed to learn from these encounters? I assume I
keep having them because I haven't learned whatever it is I'm supposed
to learn. I don't think I'm handling them the same way every time but
obviously the lesson hasn't been learned or I wouldn't keep repeating
the cycle. But it's really maddening now. I've admitted that I can't do
everything. I've admitted that I won't be able to help everyone. I've
admitted that I am not the person who should decide if someone needs
help...the person has to seek out the help on their own. I've even
learned how to say no. What is missing? What haven't I learned???
I
just want to be a good person, believe it or not. And part of being a
good person means using this gift I have, this gift of being loyal
& trustworthy & discreet when the situation calls for it. It
means using my brain toward the betterment of others in some way. But
maybe I'm not doing that the way I should be doing it. I can count on
one hand how many people I've failed in this life but the ones I have
failed, I've felt awful about.
Maybe he's right. Maybe I do give too much of myself. And maybe that's why I keep winding up back at square one.
Long weekend, no real plans & no booze. Heaven help me.
I just thought about something. I've never done the New Year's kiss thing. Gotta work on that.
This place is a mess & reeks of tea tree oil.
Friday December 29, 2006 - 05:20pm (PST)
