This is my first entry on this website that was told to me many times, but i always seemed to forget the name. My attitude towards blogging might be different from others. Some people have personal agendas when they sit down to write, but for me it is a great exercise to keep the mind sharp, as well as get things off your chest. I have been blogging for five years on livejournal.com, but there was always a sketchy intra-personal desire for other members to become friends. I have never really tried to make friends online, because in all honesty i really have never had the desire to have friends in real life. Don't get me wrong, I love people, but i was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder when i was 15, so i have always remained very insolated and horribly introspective. I have never quite been able to intellectualize the need for others and for many years i have been alone, which to me is completely sane and normal.
I just read a great passage from a book sent to me and this type of writing and that type of thinking is completely my cup of tea. I love to read and i love to analyze things, but my ultimate hobby is being this society's most passioned critic. When i was 17, i wrote an article in my high school paper criticizing America's need for material consumption. I never quite understood what the big deal was about attaining houses, cars, clothes etc. Most kids cared about prom, college and partying and my idea of fun was sitting in left field being atypically analytical. My life has always been about finding a spiritual enrichment and setting out on a lifelong quest to attain knowledge and experience.
In my opinion concepts in life that give the people the most stress are nothing but social constructs. The attainment of wealth, material possessions and age are all nothing more than the individual's way of adhering to a social norm. As a social critic my whole life, i never felt i quite fit into the "average american" mentality. I was introduced at an early age to the European mentality, which argues the best way to achieve personal fulfilment is to use your job as nothing more than allowing you to enrich your life. Our society on the other hand is a live to work society, where being a part of the working collective is the backbone of life. This society was shaped on the hard work of immigrants, who left for greener pastures and in many ways the collective american work ethic is derived by the philosophy of being able to improve your predicament through the effort you give at your job.
Age is a relative mind set, so when my friend had a nervous breakdown on the plane about being single and in his thirties, what was i to say. Do i say, pipe down and relax, because your life doesn't revolve around a number that intertwines with how the earth revolves around the sun. No, because thats how i think and i had to be honest and tell him, that the biggest problem with human nature, is the inability to learn from your mistakes. If you don't like the way your life is going, don't be a leopard and continue a lifestyle that prohibits you from your dreams, change your spots and try an new approach. That is why lately with all of my friends being married with kids, it has been so fascinating to see life through children. I am nowhere near that mentality of selfless love, but i still feel the most important thing i will do in life is my ability to bring a child into this world
We spend our days toiling away to survive and it is so easy to forget about basic human needs and interests. Having a kid, makes you see it thru the eyes of something so beautiful and pure, before it is tarnished and worn down by society and stereotypes. To see your kid make a fist step, a first walk or a first anything, makes you see what is truly the special and miraculous nature of our existence on this planet. The constant torture of bosses, financial responsibility and social constructs for the most part take our basic human instincts and destroy its purity. We try so hard to find happiness, contentment and companionship, that we always seem to forget about our own responsibility to our own self nature. Its important to reflect and try to better ourselves, by taking the time to analyze our faults for self-improvement.
